Leadership Lessons 19 : Leadership is all about people.

 Leadership Lessons 19

Leadership is all about people.

Leadership requires an ability to work with diverse set of people from very different background.

The first point to remember is that every person is unique. Hence, it is important to have an ability to understand his/her background, perspective, intentions, their strengths and limitations. It is often not easy to understand a person immediately. However, it is important to have a clear sense of a person before deciding the mode of relationship and the quality of relationship.

Ability to deal with people also requires one to be perceptive, with an understanding human psychology.

When one is in power-position or in the leadership position within government, or companies or big organisations, there will always be people with vested interest and deceptive posturing. Someone with leadership ability should be able to see through such people.

There are often people who flatter you. And one has to be beware of those who are flattering too much in front of you. One has to be also beware of the people who are overtly humble as many of such humility may be fake.

You are often known through the quality of people you work with and the quality of people who are around you. Even the best of leaders can fall flat when surrounded by wrong kind of people with vested interest agenda.

The ability to deal with people in personal conversations is different from dealing with people in groups or in the network. The interpersonal skills required for these are entirely different.

While there are leaders who are excellent in interpersonal skills but very poor in group and mass communications or to speak to a larger audience. Then there are those who are extremely bad in the interpersonal relationships and extremely good in dealing with a group of people or in managing a larger audience. Those who with excellent leadership will have ability to deal with people in person and to larger set of people.

Two very important qualities when dealing with people are empathy and honesty.

It is also important to take people as they are rather than they ought to be. When dealing with people within your own organisation, it is important to listen to them, and also ensure space for them to have their own views and creative initiatives.

One of the biggest mistakes is to measure people with our own 'measuring yard'. Many can't deal with people who are 'unlike ' them or those who are with a different social or political perspective. In leadership role, one has to deal with people who may be critical of you, who may seek to undermine you with a smile, and those who praise you in front of everyone and criticize you behind your back. One may have to deal with people who are dishonest, corrupt and very negative.

Those with excellent leadership qualities will have to deal with people of very different background, who speak different language, who assume differently from you and who have very different agenda.

In my basic approach of dealing with people, I keep those people who are bitter and with negative energies at a distance. I make a note of people who tend to criticize everyone except themselves.

I also make note of people who are primarily looking for problems everywhere rather than addressing those problem. I also take note of people who may be extremely self-righteous and dismissive of all others. I usually keep a distance with those people though don't necessarily avoid them.But I don't spend or invest my time in such people.

The second kind of people whom I am beware are those who flatter you to get a things done. I have seen so many people who come pleading for support or for a position or for a job. Once they get their things done., they simply vanish and often not even say a thanks. In my professional roles, I have come across too many such 'self-centred' and 'self-serving' people who make use of good-will.

My position on this is to support people who are deserving without expecting anything from that person. This helps one to be happy and not getting disappointed with others.

It is often your integrity, initiative and ability to touch the lives and choices of people that inspire many people. There are lots of people in in leadership position who are good in public relations and not so good in personal relationship or interpersonal relationships.

Another important problem is the gap between 'self-perception' and the 'perception' by others. Those with good leadership qualities are those with the ability to be realistically aware about their own selves; their own limitations, and strengths. Those with good leadership are self-reflective to always see whether their perception is very different from the perception of their friends, colleagues, family or the larger networks.

The big gap between self-perception and the perception of others could lead to identity crisis and credibility crisis of the leaders. It often happens when they are too much carried away by their positions of power or the soothsayers that surround them or they are insulated from reality. Those with good leadership will always do a periodic reality to check.

One may have to have different approach to different set of people. Different strokes for different folks, without compromising the basic integrity of relationship and integrity of communications. My approach to relationships is that I often support people in their worst of times; I tend to spend more time with my friends and colleagues who face a crisis. And never complain when many people ignore you in their good times.

Towards the end of the day , your dealing with people is a reflection of your values. Those with a deep sense of ethics, empathy and positive energy sustain relationships and win friends all the way and influence people. Such people ensure integrity of relationships and never 'make use' of people or adopt a 'use and throw' culture.

Those who are empowering, educating and enabling people will indeed attract more people. The corner stone of any relationship is trust, affection and love. You can't win any friend through an argument.

You may impress people with your argument, intellect and initiatives. However, people stay with you when they know that you are trustworthy, integrity of relationship and you are reliable and you love them. Those are the people who touch lives and make a difference in the world.

JS Adoor

To be continued

39James Varghese, Methilaj MA and 37 others

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