Leadership Lessons 27 : Conflict management : Sama, Dana, Bheda, Dandha

 Leadership Lessons 27

Conflict management : Sama, Dana, Bheda, Dandha

Wherever there are human beings, there are different opinions, perspectives, expectations and attitudes. These difference and diverse ways of looking at an issue or world on the one hand is the source of creativity and on the other hand the reason for conflicts.

In leadership and management roles conflicts arise due to different reasons. Usually there are eight different kinds of conflicts.

1) Conflicts due to competing interests between two individuals or a group of individual.

2)Conflicts due opposing political and social approach and perspectives.

3) Conflicts due to competing egos of individuals and leaders with their interest groups

4) Conflicts due to competing claims and maneuvering for leadership positions of power.

5) Conflicts due to the protection of the integrity and sustenance of institutions, organizations and a country.

6)Conflict over resources, property, territory, legacy and legitimacy.

7)Conflicts due to violation of the laws, policies, system or rules of an organization or a country

8) Conflicts due to total incompatibility of attitudes, behavior and competing expectations

There could be many more kinds of conflicts as human beings are prone to a large spectrum of small and bigger conflicts

One has to make a difference between differences of opinions and conflicts. Differing opinions and perspectives can be a source of innovation, creative thinking and democratic modes of leadership.

Hence those with excellent leadership listens to multiple opinions and perspectives, including criticism with a positive approach. Such different perspective and criticism often help those with leadership qualities to do self reflection and take adaptive and corrective measure.

Multiple kinds of intolerance to a person or a group, or institution is the beginning of all conflicts. Conflicts arose due to highly competing interests among individuals, institutions and identities.

One of the major reasons of conflicts is entrenched prejudices against a person or an organization due to social /cultural /identity reasons. These prejudices often grow into intolerance, hatred and consequently violence in the mind, words and deeds.

How do we manage conflicts.

I Prevention is better than cure

The best approach is to do proactive approach to potential conflicts and risks.

This requires an ability to sense early warning and take a mitigation approach in advance.

In the organisational context, it is important to keep your ears close to the ground and understand multiple interests and dynamics at various levels of an organisation. This requires constant interaction with people at different levels and understand brewing issues. It is also important to develop smart formal and informal feedback system.

However, there is a danger where interest groups within an organization can co-opt a leader by giving in wrong feedback and use leaders to strike their enemies.

Hence, a detached and unbiased leadership judgement is required to solve a problem before it becomes a discontent and then a lager wound of conflicts.

A proactive approach would foresee a problem and solve them in an effective and efficient manner by taking all stakeholders in to confidence.

A very good organisation will have clear systems and policies that prevent possible conflicts of interest or arbitrary decisions. For example, it there is a staff consultative forum or grievance committee, many issue will be solved immediately.

Often arbitrary decisions and non consultative leadership approach is a recipe for potential conflict. Avoiding such egocentric leadership approach is a preventive measure.

II . Preemptive Approach

In an organisational context, there are different kinds of people with multiple interests, perspectives and multiple kinds of prejudices (social, cultural or individual ). There are also those who do multiple posturing.. Many may praise you and constantly undermine from behind. Many may use information for their interest.

A bad apple can often spoil the whole organization. One or two, spreading only negative energy could spread the discontent.

Hence it is important to analyze the causes, content and possible consequences. A clear organizational and individual diagnosis are important. With such a clarity, there are number of ways to do preemptive measures.

In my leadership experience and leadership roles, I had to take preemptive approach to remove those who would nurture negative energy and conflicts.

Preemptive approach too is a preventive strategy with the long term interest of an organization.

III. Arbitration approach

When there is conflict between two teams, two managers, two interest /identity groups, or two leaders, it is important to take a nonpartisan detached approach.

Depending on the nature and character of conflicts, ensure there is at least three unbiased people in the team to resolve and manage conflict. When such conflict management teams are formed, ensure diversity including gender diversity. In a big organization, it is not necessary for the top leader to be in such committees

In such a context, it is important to give a patient hearing to each party. Just listening every single points without giving your opinion or response is pertinent. Listening carefully multiple perspective even within a group too matters.

Only after listening to each group, analyse the causes of discontent, nature of conflicts, extend of personal /professional prejudices, intolerance and biases.

Only after one or two rounds of consultation, a consensus formula could be negotiated.

It is of immense importance to be respectful and responsible to each of the party. Confidentiality is a very cardinal aspect of conflict resolution.

Immense patience and understanding of human psychology are key to solving conflicts. Listening skills and empathy are important qualities.

III Negotiations

Whenever there is a conflict of competing interests, negotiations skills make a big difference. This too requires an understanding of the person /persons, potential intentions and interests, risk factors, possible traps and a detached analysis.

Negotiations are easier said than done. Because in many negotiations, the most difficult issue is the trust deficit between two parties.

Negotiations require confidence building measures between two conflicting parties. It also requires a sincere and honest efforts to avoid further erosion of trust. Lack of mutual trust often leads to real or imagined personal prejudices, base less allegations and potential violence.

Hence negotiations require a very careful, caring, and empathic approach with immense patients and listening skills.

In any negotiations, it is important to have clarity of what to give away and what are the non negotiable.

IV Time is a healer

In some kind of conflicts, the best thing is to not jump in to a conflicts when there is so much of tensions. When there is so much acrimonious tension and distrust, it is important to find ways to give time so that each of the parties get mellowed down

Time is a very good healer. I have often found that two people or teams got in to acrimonious conflict begin to smiles at each other after a while. Sometimes throwing a party and making everyone laugh would become an icebreaker. When tensions are less, one can provide safe space for them to negotiate their own way.

In the organisational context, it is important to have excellent retreat with lots of fun and joy where everyone can be detached from organizational or professional tensions

V. Personal Attacks and professional rivalries

In leadership roles and positions of power, it will be natural get bouquets and bricks. There will be those are opposed to you due to professional, political or personal prejudices or grudge. This always happen in one or other way. Sometimes benign attack and sometimes malignant and malicious.

This is where the leadership mettle is tested. Three important qualities are important : a) Not to react immediately b). Analyze clearly all stakeholders including opponents and fence sitters c) Understand arguments carefully d) Ensure a detached approach e) Ensure resilience of mind and body e) Have genuine friends to share your concerns and fear and get their advice and support.

All this is much better said than done.. When I began my leadership journey, I had few leadership councilors and leadership coach. They helped me a lots. One of the leadership lessons was about anger management

I used to be a very angry young man with less patience. My leadership councilor gave a good advice :

" Whenever you feel the anger, go to the toilet and wash the face, take few deep breaths and if possible go for a walk. Never ever react when you are angry and not in charge of your mind or emotions."

I meticulously followed this advice in my professional life. However, three times I lost it and later on felt very bad. In all those three times, I did self reflect and apologized profusely. But the point is when you are angry, you not only harm others with your words but eventually harm your own image and interest.

Leadership is often a lonely role .At the top of an organization you are often alone and lonely. You also the centre of attention. Due to that very role, everything you say or do will be scrutinized. And at the most crucial time, people you expected to defend you become silent.

Those difficult times, a travel or journey with friends will help to heal. A sense of meditation, your deep faith, your internal resources and conviction help to make a protective cover

Strategic conflict management is topic for a book. It requires multiple levels of analysis, strategic planning, war games and much more.

Usually I follow the ' forget and forgive' approach. This also involves do no harm. anyone deliberately. I have tried my best to ensure that I didn't harm anyone. That is important for your own peace and happiness.

I did face conflict and handled conflicts.

I often followed the Indian four phased approach : Sama, Dana, Bheda, Dhanda

Few times I had to do the last resort when there was corruption, conflict of interest and larger interest of the organization. It was not easy. But once I decided I did act and never regretted.

JS Adoor

To. Be continued